An Hour After The Murder

they drilled out my teeth
and i woke clawing at sheets
with stamps on my eyelids
saying ‘never sleep again’.

gathering to me one stuffed pig,
one pillow, all the extra covers,
turning my face to the wall,
drawing my knees to my belly -

the nightmare came back
like my eyelids were a switch -
on, off, on - and the young man
with the hook in my mouth
said "i think i can pierce to the nerve"
to the red queen bitch behind me.

no good.
i wrenched my eyes open
tired eyes i could not trust to full closed.
"i have a girlfriend" i said to the woman,
murderess, it turns out,
in my dream, act one.

facing out from the wall
was no better.
cold concrete at my back
kept the chill down my spine.

i clung to my pig, mad emperor,
till the sky was muddy with dawn,
then dozing, dreamed of t-shirts,
half-price, innocuous,
not some angel-eyed demon boy
who stopped traffic and made
my teeth ache.


November 20th, 1997
© Lela Kaunitz